Have you ever wanted to take a beautiful photograph EVERY time? Well with the _____, you can! The _____ is designed to make every photo beautiful because of it’s artistic and amazing effects. It’s created to take what you see and make it into something even more beautiful than it already is. It makes photos have real meaning, and it makes photos tell real stories.*
Picture making meaning, beauty, artistry, and EVERY-click-of-the-shutter success made easy. Haven't we all been yearning - in fact, secretly lusting - for a picture making thing which can " take what you see and make it into something even more beautiful than it already is." Who would have dreamed that a picture perfect world is just a picture making thing purchase away?
I mean, it's like getting your money for nothin' and your chicks for free. And, you don't even have go all bangin' on the bongos like a chimpanzee.
*taken from a marketing email for a picture making device which shall remain nameless.